In Memorial

Friday, September 10, 2010

It's been a year, today, that my uncle passed away. He valiantly staved off pancreatic cancer for 9 months, before finding peace on this day, one year ago. I miss him so much. It literally is still surreal to think about him being gone. I'm always half expecting to see him walk through the door at my grandmas.

My uncle was nothing if not loving. He loved his family so much and would do absolutely anything for anyone at the drop of the hat. And I know he loved me just as much as I loved him. When I was little he started calling me his Mamies, a nickname for me that was just his and no one elses. He use to hug and squeeze on me and Mama would tell him, "get your own Mamies!" Eventually, when Christina came along he did. He use to love to tell me that story. I must have heard it hundreds of times over the years. It always made me feel so loved.

Last year when he was sick I was unemployed. And for that, I am extremely beyond words thankful. I would never had had the opportunity to spend as much time with him as I did. Papa and I would stop by at least one afternoon a week, just to sit with him, pray with him, rub his back. Really just be with him, he hated so much to be alone. I'm grateful that I was able to be there for him, even if being there for him was just sitting next to him on the couch.

I'm incredibly thankful that he's now at peace and that he's no longer suffering. Even though we all miss him as much as we do. He will not and cannot be forgotten. We still talk about him all the time. Like I said in my journaling, his love for his family was his most enduring legacy. And because of that, he lives on.

Journaling Reads:

Dear Tio,

It's still so hard for me to believe that you're gone. That you won't breeze through the door of Nana's house, a fizzing ball of energy, exclaiming "Que chula mi Mamies!" and flashing that mega watt smile.

I'm so thankful I was in San Antonio, a place I hadn't called home in more than 5 years. I'm so happy I was close enough and able to spend the precious hours I did with you,. I would never had had the opportunity otherwise.

This is how I'll always remember you, plump and healthy and strong. I'm so grateful I have this photo of the two of us. Look, you were even in your jacket about to walk out the door.

I love you so much Tio and I know that you still love me. Your love for your family is your most enduring legacy. And because of that, you live on.

Carinos Tio! Te Amo



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